Party at My New Place

Almost everything has been moved over here.

Fuzzy Feelings

They've put a sign over the Customer Support section that says "Good Intentions (does not equal sign) Profits!"

Not sales, but technical support!

I gotta tell you, that just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Good Boys & Girls

Barry has a heart-breaking post about his son's difficulties fitting in at school and the role that his strict (compared to other children, anyway) household plays in that. It is, unfortunately, a very familiar story. It's also likely to be the source of an inevitable conflict between Clancy and I should we have children down the line.

Clancy is one of three super-children. Clancy is a doctor, her middle sister is a lawyer (married to a doctor, no-less), and the youngest just got out of college with 4.0 GPA honors degree from the University of Carolina. Only the youngest doesn't have an upper-level degree and she's only 23 and I'm sure will get one someday. Her parents, a college professor and a CPA, expected no less.

I come from a slightly less ambitious family. My brothers and I are all middle-professionals just as Dad was. The oldest works with databases, the middle is an engineer like Dad, and I am a general IT person. We all graduated from college (middle bro has a master's). This was expected of us as well.

I am disinclined to criticize my parents because all things considered they did a phenomenal job. Our successes are theirs and our failures are our own. But if I am inclined to do anything differently than they did, it's to push them a little harder. I'm not sure if there's any reason my family couldn't have been as successful as Clancy's. Not successful in the monetary sense, but in the sense of living up to our full potential. At least two of us Truman boys haven't. Instead of living up to our full potential, my oldest brother and I have instead lived up to our parents expectations of us. Had those expectations been set higher, we would have achieved more. Had they lower expectations, we probably would have achieved less. Even successful middle brother got where he is by following in Dad's footsteps. No more, no less.

While there are exceptions to every rule, this is the case more often than not.

I won't speak for my brothers any further, but I will say that I was a problem child waiting to happen. I like to push all the wrong things. I have a scientist's curiosity to find out "what would happen if?" Add a peculiar personality and more difficulty learning than a lot of people my age, drugs, alcohol, and quitting school were all waiting for me, but by the grace of good parenting.

My parents wouldn't get me a Nintendo because my grades were bad. I couldn't watch Rated R movies. We didn't have cable except in the main room and even then not until I was in the fifth grade. Dad sat with me every night after dinner to walk me through the homework that was giving me great difficulty. Small disciplinary infractions were treated sternly and so they never became larger ones.

But I look back at how hard I didn't try in school and how well I did (better than "smart" people that tried a lot harder). Maybe I could have been a lawyer or a doctor instead of in the middle of a dead-end career that stopped interesting me long ago. Don't get me wrong, I like my life, but I would want better for my children. Isn't that what every parent (or in this case would-be parent) wants?

Which brings me back to Clancy's family and what it took to get them where they got.


The Hardwick family wasn't allowed to watch television to the extent that most families, including the Trumans, were. School was their job, as their father used to say. Clancy is an avid reader, but most likely couldn't tell the Star Trek from Space Ghost. Also, intense focus on academia necessarily diverts energy away from socializing and acculturating yourself with your social environment. There are some people who can do it all (including Clancy's youngest sister), but it requires a special gift that very few people have.

Clancy doesn't have it. Her childhood was miserable. To this day I want to go back and kick some junior high butt because those kids were so cruel.

Now Clancy is an odd duck like myself. Even if she had been availed of the newest games of the day and popular television shows, while she might not have her current animosity towards it, she would never have completely bought in to pop culture.

While I think there's a lot that Clancy would do differently than the way that she was raised, those are the values (work hard, play productively) she was raised with and she's taken to them. I definitely get the sense that she would want similar guidelines in any family that she's raising. It's certainly hard to argue with the results.

But I don't want any children we have to go through what she went through. While I don't want them to be cheerleader popular, I don't want them to be unpopular either. I don't want them to go through what Clancy went through, what I went through, and what Barry's son is going through.

And yet what choice do parents have? Do they let the kids buy in to the superficial, materialistic culture that is leaving a lot of kids emotionally unequipped for the "real world?" Do we let them slide on grades so that they can spend more time on frivolous activities just so that they can conform to the backwards priorities of youth?

Barry's right, what the other parents let their kids do has a direct bearing on those households that won't buy in to that. So do you give in? Do you fight it, letting your child take the brunt of the damage?

It's really a no-win situation.

I may not be as concerned about violent movies as Barry is, but the older I get the more socially conservative I seem to be becoming. I've seen what permissive parents, overly accomodating teachers, sexual promiscuity, drugs (including alcohol first and foremost), and sexual promiscuity have done to a lot of my friends. I consider myself lucky to have (mostly) moved beyond that. I admire the wall that Clancy has managed to built between herself and all of that. I'd want the same for my children.

But at what cost? And to whom?

You give in a little and it doesn't do much good. My classmates didn't care that I finally got to see Nightmare on Elm Street 13. They just noted that I'd missed the first twelve. They didn't care that I managed to get ahold of one killer trendy outfit, they just noted that the rest of the time I wore slacks and polo shirts. They didn't care that I finally started wearing jeans because their opinions had been formed by my stubborn insistence of wearing slacks until I was thirteen.

It doesn't even seem like compromise is possible. You have to buy in. And by that point, instead of being what your (older and theoretically wiser) parents tell you to be, you're what your young and stupid friends tell you to be.

But you do have to acclimate yourself to your surroundings. No matter how much sense it might make to wear an African robe in the desert heat, you wear pants because you're expected to. It keeps society going. No matter how smart a supergenious kid is, it does him no good if s/he isn't understood by those around him/her and doesn't understand the world around him/her.

And somewhere in the midst of all this is an answer that eludes me.

Hypothetical Application

I just sent off my updated resume and cover letter. Reading over the job description was a bit discouraging. I probably wouldn't have applied if my boss Willard hadn't encouraged me. One of those easy things to talk myself out of.

I'm one of two people in Reports applying, though the choice between me and Edgar is a no-brainer. In fact, his applying might be good cause it'll help Willard draw a distinction between his endorsement of me and his not-so-much endorsement of him.

Willard seems a lot more confident than I am about all this. He's already preparing for the vacancy. Though for reasons I'm not sure, neither of us have actually discussed it since this whole thing started.

Conversations have gone like this:

"If I were to apply for a job in Systems Analysis, who would I write the cover letter to? Hypothetically speaking, of course."

"Theoretically, I would say John Hansen. He's the CIO and while you'd be working for Hilton Wilde, it never hurts to aim high. Hypothetically."

"Well I'm going to theoretically send the email right now."

"I'm sure everything will work out. Figuratively, speaking."

Definitely going to miss those kinds of conversations if I were to get transfered out.

In any case, it would be interesting to see how much a Willard endorsement is worth!

Technical Difficulties

As incredible as this sounds, my Blogspot account was hacked. The template was replaced by some ads for cheap auto insurance. I'm trying to get the old template back up, but my internet connection is spotty right now, so it's going to look weird for a bit.

Avoiding God's Soldiers

The missionaries stopped by again tonight. Each time it seems to be a different set. I think I might have been too rude to the last set. They never should have changed sets to begin with. I had a cordial relationship with the first ones and a sorta understanding (to the extent that a missionary can graph the concept of someone being somewhat interested in learning about the religion but very much not interested in converting). But since those two were pulled in favor of the others I've been a little more rude.

But even so, I can't be too rude even when I need to be. I am also sympathetic to the fact that being a missionary isn't easy (though it's gotta be easier in Deseret than Somalia).

Right now I just need to buy a little bit of time. They often don't take "I'm busy right now" for an answer (last time I was clearly on the phone). But how can they not take "It's April 15th and I haven't finished my taxes!" for an answer?

Quite possibly the best excuse to weasel out of anything that I've ever come up with in my entire life. Ever. In my whole life.

I Met Lex Luthor

Becky tells an interesting I-met-a-celebrity story. The only celebrity I've ever met (outside of a convention of place you're supposed to meet celebrities) was Sherman Howard, the actor for Lex Luthor in the old Superboy TV series (at least I think it was Howard, it might have been the other Lex Luthor from the first season).

Our conversation consisted of him saying "Excuse me" and me saying "sorry" and getting out of the way of the door to the beachside condominium we were each staying at.

But my middle brother's ex-girlfriend's mother has a much more interesting story, which I will recount to the best of my abilities. I have no verification that this is true, but she not an inveterate storyteller like my mother and I are, so it holds a bit more credibility. And, whether true or not, it's amusing, which is what counts.

Mrs. Douglas was in a casino/hotel elevator in Las Vegas when it stopped and three black men - two very large ones - entered. One of the men said "Hit the floor."

She dropped to the floor. One of the men clarified "The ground floor, ma'am" as he pressed the Level 1 button on the elevator.

She was understandably mortified.

For the rest of the trip, the hotel restaurant and bar declined her money. Everything, they told her, was paid for. When she was checking out, she was informed by the hotel that her room had been paid for. She asked "by whom." The attendant said that she didn't know, but gave her an envelope.

It read: "Thanks for the biggest laugh we've had all month. Best, Eddie Murphy and his two bodyguards."

Homestretch Slow-Motion

I wish I could hypnotize myself into thinking today was Thursday. Knowing that I have another day would help me keep my nose to the grindstone rather than counting down the minutes until weekend freedom.

Then the spell would wear off at about 5:05 and I'd realize that I am done for the weekend.

Seeking Teddy's Promotion

A few posts are going to tie together here.

Not long ago (it couldn't have been long ago, this blog isn't a couple of months old) I mentioned that I was being considered for a promotion to QA. The perks were a bigger workspace and a raise. The downside was that I was going to work under a guy I didn't want to work under and a slightly less pleasant job.

As it turns out, every single factor in the equation was false. The raise was nixed, the department was moved under the control of my current supervisor, and QA now has the same 4x4' cubes that we do.

I expressed a lack of enthusiasm and the promotion opportunity was withdrawn.

A week or so ago I took some Meeting Notes about some attendance troubles in the RLD departments and in particular with a QA employee named Teddy Forbes.

Now I've got a lot to say about Teddy, but I'm not ready to at this juncture. But the important thing about Teddy is that he has been dissatisfied with his position for some time and has wanted out of QA and in to System Testing.

When they were moved back into the smaller cubicles, he issued an ultimatum: either you get me out of QA or I quit.

To which the company responded: "We have no other positions available to you at this time. Do you intend to excercise the latter option?" Our boss Willard actually talks like this.

So Teddy is gone.

Lesson: Never issue an ultimatum to this company. According to Willard, there have been some very essential people that have gone off the tracks to senior management by being impatient and issuing ultimatums.

So two days after Teddy leaves because they will not transfer him to Software Testing because "there are no openings for [him] at this time" they send a company-wide email job posting for two positions in... Software Testing!

I noticed that there were no requirements for the job that I did not meet. Willard then pulled me into the small conference closet room. He strongly suggested that I apply for the Software Testing spot and said that I could put him down as a reference.

This would be the second time in a month or so that he's tried to help me get a promotion. That means I'm either really good because he things I'm bound for better things, or I'm so bad that he wants to kick me upstairs.

There is some bad blood between Teddy and myself. He has, in the past, been quite condescending to our department. I'm frankly glad he's gone.

If I do apply and get for and get the spot that he has spent months pining for, that would absolutely, positively be icing on the cake.

Resume Question

When applying for a job within the company that you work for, do you:
(a) Put your current position with the company on the resume, thereby revealing that you have an updated resume and are looking to Get The Hell Out of your current job.
(b) Leave your current job off the resume, looking like your resume ended over a year ago.

Let's say for the sake of argument,
(1) You have an updated resume.
(2) You really are looking to Get The Hell Out of your current job, and
(3) You'd just as soon your employer not know about #2.

The Temple's Timetable

Clem, a coworker in our sister department, is apparently getting married. It seems like it was just yesterday that he had a moderate crush on Mouse and was lamenting how difficult it was to meet girls around here.

It wasn't yesterday, but it was less than six weeks ago.

For the record, Clem is 21 years old.

One of my coworker Marcel's friends also announced his engagement, three weeks after Marcel introduced to two of them.

The Cranstons, the family we live with, have four daughters. I've mentioned Becki, the youngest and only unmarried and childless Cranston. The oldest, about my age (29), is married with four children. The other two have three or four kids between them (or will, hopefully, once her/their pregnancy/pregnancies lapse).

Many moons ago I very much loved a girl named Julie. She and I dated for almost five years when I started considering popping the question. The reaction among those I told was uniform: You're too young, don't do it!

I was 23.

Of all the differences between the southern metropolis of Colosse and Mocum here in the Deseret 'burbs, the most apparent to me (in part because I work with young people, mostly) is the timetable. In Colosse, as with most big cities outside of Deseret, you're expected to date through most of your twenties, start thinking about marriage at 25 at the earliest, try to be married by thirty, then have kids a few years after that.

Not that I believe in the big city model. It underestimates a woman's decline in fertility after thirty and (subjectively) it causes problems down the line when the parents can't see their grandkids graduate from high school.

I discussed the issue with Clancy last night and we both reminisced about how little we knew of ourselves at 21 and how much we had to learn about life in general. On the other hand, a good argument could be made that if you fully form by yourself, sacrificing the "me" for the "we" becomes much harder.

Nationally, the average first-time groom is 27 and first-time bride is 24. Most urban centers like Colosse pull that number up while rural areas pull that number back down. Deseret is somewhat unique in that even in Gazelem, our urban capitol city, that number is probably being pulled down.

In a state-by-state comparison of divorces per capita ("Divorce Rate"), for all it's religiosity Deseret is actually midling (#27). The reason that it's not higher is probably because of the church that so emphasizes family and marriage. Or perhaps I should say encourages young marriage and strongly, strongly discourages premarital sex. From what I understand, they actually "check" to see if you're a virgin before allowing you to marry in a temple. Though that could be urban legend, a couple LDS coworkers recently discussed a particular GYN whose job it was to check. So I don't know.

But in any case, the cultural pressure to get married young coupled with a biological pressure to have sex doubling back to a cultural pressure not to have sex (in any manifestation, including masterbation I think) before marriage undoubtedly leads to more than a couple of ill-advised marriages. It certainly leads to a lot more marriages, young or old, wise or dumb.

Viewed in that context, Deseret's midling divorce rate actually becomes somewhat impressive. Southern states (including my own) that have large rural tracts where people marry young and get married more don't do nearly as well as Deseret does.

In fact, if one were able to come up with a marriage/divorce ratio ("Marriage Success Rate"), I'd imagine that Deseret would do pretty well. The south would probably do a lot better as well. Most of the states with the lowest Divorce Rates (most located in the northeast) would probably not have as good looking Marriage Success Rate.

So the question is whether or not it's acceptable to have more failed marriages for even more successful ones or whether it is not, in fact, better to have married and lost than never to have married at all.

Compiler Dialectic

Compiler: Null Field In Parameters Disallowed outside partial units.

Will: What?

Compiler: Null Field In Parameters Disallowed outside partial units.

Will: What does that mean?

Compiler: Null Field In Parameters Disallowed outside partial units.

Will: Hmmm. [picks up phone and calls Willard]

Willard: That's one of our phantom errors. Start commenting stuff out*.

[twenty minutes later]

Compiler: Null Field In Parameters Disallowed outside partial units.

Will: Dangit! Hey Marcel, could you check over my code real quick?

Marcel: Sure. What's the error message.

Will: It's a phantom error.

Marcel: Which one?

Will: Something about partial units and null fields. Hold on.

Compiler: Incomplete IF statement on line 1304.

Marcel: Well I know that error is mysterious, Will, but I'd go ahead and check out line 1304.

Will: But... but that wasn't the error I was getting a minute ago!

Marcel: Yeah, yeah...

[five minutes later]

Compiler: Null Field In Parameters Disallowed outside partial units.

Will: Dangit!

Death Notice

Clancy's great-uncle passed on this week. She apparently found out via an email from her mother about the funeral arrangements (instead of an email about the death itself whenever it happened).

The notification issue reminds me a bit of Grandmother Albrecht, my mom's mom. Our family ran a little closer to the Truman family line than the Albrecht one since the Truman hub was in Hamelon, only a couple hours away, while the Albrecht clan was based back in Carolina.

At some point I realized that we stopped making trips back to Carolina and when we did, we usually only got to see my Great Aunt Susan. When I finally asked my folks about this they told me that she had died a few years prior.

It was years before I ever let them hear the end of that.

Grandfather Albrecht died before I was born and Grandmother Truman died only recently. The only other death from that era was Grandfather Truman.

Mom told Dad over breakfast that the Steins had died in a car accident. The Steins were the elderly couple that they sold the house in Carolina to when I was only four and we moved to Dixona.

Later that day my father was crying in his room. My father was never much of a cryer so I asked him what was wrong. He told me that Grandfather Truman had died. I ended up being the one to tell Mom, not realizing that Dad hadn't yet.

That day holds some of my earliest memories.

Addendum: Turns out there was a message about the death on our answering machine the whole time. She worked the overnight last night so it was my fault. Oops.

Ill-Timed Blindness

I have a medical condition that occasionally results in very obstructed vision. When afflicted, I can't watch TV, drive, read... or work.

So it's natural that it started coming on around 12:30, because that's when I take lunch.

And it's natural that I am getting my vision back now, cause I'm about ready to clock in again.

Heaven forbid something like this happen outside my websurfing window.

RIP, Mitch Hedberg

Will: Hey Willard, Mitch Hedberg died!

Willard: Who?

Will: Hilarious stand-up comic.

Willard: Oh. Not familiar with him.

Will: He's really good.

Willard: Not anymore, he's dead.

Will: True. He was really good on March 30th, though, before he died.

Willard: Were you there? He might have had an off-nite.

Will: Yeah. Well he's really good on CD.

Willard: I'll take your word on that. Do you need time to grieve?

Will: I'll grieve over lunch.

Willard: Don't forget that today's the luncheon. So I'm going to have to ask you to keep your grieving during that time to a minimum.

Will: Right. I'll grieve during the 3-3:15 standardized breaktime.

Willard: Okay, but I expect to see you in an ungrieving state at your desk once the clock hits 3:16.

Will: Mitch would have wanted it that way, I'm sure.

Blogcess

-{Invitation from Barry}-

1) The last time you filled up your automobile how much did you pay per gallon?

$2.179, though I never got my fractions-of-a-penny back in change, so I'm not sure how that works.

2) What was the last piece of clothing you purchased for yourself?

I took a trip back to Dixona for a spell. Unfortunately I didn't pack enough in the way of jeans, so I had to get some. I also wanted a nice-looking shirt for a meeting with an old flame, so I tracked down a shirt while I was there.

3) What was the last thing you bought at the grocery?

Mostly canned stuff. Beans, chili, etc. I'm about to have to go make an emergency trip to stock up on parmesan cheese and pesto cause I've been raiding Clancy's stash all week.

4) What did you do on the last night you went out with friends?

Had some coffee with a friend. Unfortunately I don't go out all that much (no kids, so no excuse).

5) Let’s spread some "It’s Blogcess" linky love?

I'm kind of the new kid on the block, so I don't have anyone to send this particular linkintine to except Larry, if he's interested.

An Unreligious Case Against Promiscuity

Becky has an inquiring post about a niece of hers that is debating whether or not to give up her virginity sooner than planned (plan was marriage). Most of the advice seems about the same (If something is "right" then go for it, but not for the reasons she gave).

Barry of Inn of the Last Home had an interesting question in the comments section:

I'm curious as to what kind of articulation people can put on the reasons why it's a moral decision in the first place?

That is, taking out the religious tenet of "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery"...where does the moral question come into play to those who either aren't religious or don't follow the 10 commandments that closely?

In other words, we hear all the time that it's a moral and upright decision to wait until you're married, or at least in a stable, loving relationship and not just sleep with everyone you know.

Why?

I'm not a particularly religious person. Nor did I wait for marriage and I don't have any real regrets about not waiting. But I do think that a case can be made against premarital sex or sex outside of a serious relationship without relying on religious precepts.

It does, however, require the belief in some or all of the following:
1. When possible, it's better that children are raised with two parents instead of one.
2. When possible, it's better that a child's parents are in love or at least have an amicable relationship.
3. It's better that no one (male or female) has a child that they do not want.
4. Abortion, even if it should remain legally permissable, is not a better thing than not being in a position to want one.

Imagine a 100-barrel gun were possible. If you stick a bullet in one chamber and spin it ("Russian Roulette"), aim it at someone and pull the trigger, you are taking a 1/100 change of killing someone. Whether it kills that person or not, you've arguably committed a "sin" because you pulled the trigger knowing that there was a chance (however small) that someone would get hurt.

Now we take the chance of killing someone every time we step in to a car. But the difference between the gun and the car is that the latter is necessary (or there will be consequences if you don't go to work or the store or whatnot) while the former carries no negative consequence for not doing it.

Which brings me to sex. Every time two people have sex, they run the risk of concieving. Contraception fails even when properly applied and it's often not property applied even when the people having sex think that it is.

An unexpected pregnancy within a loving relationship can be a wonderful thing. For instance, I came a couple years after my mother said she was done. But outside the level of trust that a marriage or serious monogamous relationship can provide, unplanned pregnancies are rarely wonderful things.

If both parties agree that the baby should be put up for adoption or the fetus aborted (if you believe that abortion is not morally wrong), then it can at best be neutral. But generally speaking, things aren't usually that simple. Either he wants to keep it or she does. Women that have had abortions have not (in my second-hand observations) been able to keep a complete emotional distance (even when they still believe it was te right thing to do).

If she wants the child and he doesn't, he has to pay child support for a kid that he doesn't want and the kid grows up without a father, with a resentful father, or at least with a reluctant father. However you stack it, the kid is not going to grow up in an ideal home.

And every time two people have sex, they run the risk of this happening. It's another chamber of the 100-barrel gun. Both participants know that they're doing it. And like the gun and unlike the car, it doesn't have to be done.

So what if one party or the other is completely sterile? That's a tougher question. A solid argument could still be made that they're contributing to a culture of promiscuity that encourages fertile people (like April's niece) to question their moral judgment. There's also the matter of STDs, which may be an even better gun metaphor than unintended pregnancy.

Now having said all this, I did not practice abstinence in my younger years and I wouldn't expect it of the younger set today. However, I do think that discretion (going through as few chambers in the gun as possible), and saving yourself for someone that you have enough a degree of trust to confront the parenthood issue, is on some level a moral decision.

Looks Like An Oopsie

When I was in high school I scored a job as a receptionist at ClippityClip, a national retail barber shop slash salon. I owed that to my friend Carlos.

There was generally only one receptionist on duty, but this was the Saturday of North Tangramayne High's prom and therefore extraordinarily busy.

Those of you that have been to places like ClippityClips will understand what I'm talking about when I refer to a "head sink." It's similar to a kitchen or bathroom sink except that it has an opening for the neck so that someone can put their head in to get their hair shampooed. We also used them to clean combs.

Well I'm a little over 6'3." Without forcing any math lessons this early in the morning, I'll just say when I am cleaning combs, the neck hole is about six inches below my waste.

One day I turned on the sink a little too forcefully with a few too many combs deflecting the water straight out the neck hole and onto my slacks in a very inconvenient place. I looked down, I looked over at Carlos. Carlos looked over at me confusedly. I turned my body to face him.

He laughed so hard he literally fell down. I have never seen anyone laugh that hard in my entire life.

Today on my drive to work I spilled my Mountain Dew. I cursed myself for probably thirty cents worth of drink spilled. When I picked the can up off the floormat, I naturally picked it up upside down and poured another fifteen cents in... a very inconvenient place.

Luckily I was able to slip in before anyone noticed and subsequently fell on their ass laughing so hard.

Addendum: Every time I get up, I have to survey the area to make sure no one is going to be behind me (it appears my backside actually got the worst of it, which makes sense considering that I was sitting in Mountain Dew for ten minutes or so). Whenever this happens, I hear the "Mission Impossible" music playing in my head.

Biblical Motivation

I'm waiting on this one any day now:

In the case of Universal Traffic Services, a Michigan trucking company, employees were badgered with taped messages and memos from the company’s president. On one tape, the president said, "this is from Colossians 3:22 and 23, where it says, 'Servants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters.' In this case, it’s our clients."

In Dixona I worked for a very fundamentalist Christian small business owner. One of my jobs was to edit his giant religious tract. It was actually interesting stuff - I swiped a copy on my last day.

HitCoffee.com Taken

I set up this site on Blogspot to see if it would "take." Since I am posting more than I thought I would (I was going to "limit" myself to three posts a week) I guess you can say it took.

Hit Coffee was meant to be a temporary name. Having taken something of a liking towards it, I decided to go ahead and use it only to find out that HitCoffee.com has been taken!

I thought that I checked all of the considerations. I considered fifteen in all, only six had the .com unavailable (counting HC). Some of them that I was almost sure would be taken weren't, yet Hit Coffee, a name without much rhyme or reason, was. Naturally, there's no actual site up at that address.

So I guess I gotta take a .net or .us or go with trumwill.com.

Gosh darnit.

Justify Your Existence

Fraternity hazing and meat-market dating.

Those are the only two experiences more humiliating than interviewing for a new job regardless of how well or poorly the exercise is going.

So I had a job interview this morning. Thanks to my coworker Simon, who gave me the inside track.

Luckily the interview was over breakfast, so that made it feel slightly less intimidated, but the imbalance of power between interviewer and interviewee is inescapable. Every word that comes out of your mouth is a step towards or away from getting the job. Your entire existence - every departure from a previous job, every empty spot on your resume, and every lackluster position you've held - must be justified. Even when it's a job that I don't want I'm a bit nervous.

Dating comes to mind, not having to do which is by far the best part of marriage.

The interview for my current job at FalStaff is probably the best I have ever had. Most of them time was them trying to convince me that this was a job that I had wanted. It didn't take much.

This may well be the second best interview that I've ever had. It turns out that I have some of the skills that I didn't even know they wanted. Blah, blah, blah, none of this is that important. Turns out the position is a couple months away from opening.

Besides the defensiveness, the worst thing about job interviews is the dishonesty. I have to pretend to be detail-oriented, for instance. The big one this time around, though, was declining to mention that I was getting my butt out of Deseret as soon as Clancy finished her residency. The current holder of the position is leaving because of his wife. If I'd mentioned that was a possibility with mine...

Sigh.

I hate lying. Even if it's by omission.

But I guess I don't hate it as much as I like the prospect of a better job.

Meeting Notes 4

Before the meeting...

Willard: Hey Will, are you okay? You're not looking good.

Will: I feel every bit how I look.

At the meeting...

Willard: The subject of today's meeting is attendance. Word from on high is that too many people are missing days and taking the paycut instead of taking vacation days. Then they take the vacation days and miss more time. You were hired under the assumption that blah blah blah costing the company money blah blah blah benefits blah blah blah if you miss too many days you could lose benefits or be lose your job. Any questions?

Geoff: There are eight people in a 16x12' area. Two of these people are sick a lot and we know it's not there fault.

Willard: I couldn't help but notice the lack of a question mark in your question.

Geoff: Sorry, my question is: Is this a general proclamation pertaining to a specific individual?

Willard: I'm not sure I understand the question. It's not specifically geared towards anyone in this room. It's something that everyone should know.

[Everyone starts looking around the room to determine who isn't present]

Geoff: Is this about Teddy Forbes?

Willard: I can't discuss specific personnel matters at this time.

Geoff: So let's say someone missed - hypothetically - eleven days this year and plans to take the ninth off?

Willard: Eighth off.

Geoff: Ah-hah!

Willard: Uhmmm... ninth is a Saturday, so I assumed you meant the eighth.

Geoff: Good cover.

Willard: Thank you.

Geoff: So anyway, so if someone did miss ten days in three months, it might apply to them?

Willard: Hold on, let me turn the projector on for my computer.

Teddy: [via IM on monitor] I'm going to be out the rest of the week.

After the meeting...

Willard: Hey Will?

Will: [cough cough] Yeah?

Willard: Remember everything I just said at the meeting about attendance?

Will: Yeah?

Willard: It doesn't apply to you right now. Go home!

Will: Thanks!

Virii Spread

The strangest thing happened to me this week at work. Jarvis, who sits behind me, got sick. Really sick. Then, oddly, I came down with a MISM that had the same set of symptoms. Now, to anyone that knows anything about germs that shouldn't sound strange.

But to me it is because I can't remember the last time I "caught" anything from anyone. I have drank from the same cup, kissed, and more with sick individuals and never come down with anything!

The good news is that it didn't stick around nearly as long for me as it did for him.

But still... he came down with something... then I came down with it... how odd.