Comment to Phi's Post on Manchildren vs Womenchildren

Below is a comment that I cannot, for the life of me, post on Phi's blog. Direct all comments here.

I lived with my folks for about three weeks while I was engaged. I was actually kind of looking forward to it. I was working across town and saving up for the move to Deseret. Mom and Dad both wanted me to move back in after college until I got my feet on the ground, but I carefully avoiced that. But here was kind of a last chance before I moved far, far away. The plan was for me to move in for about four months. The fact that I left after three weeks gives you an idea of how well it went. My problem was not with my father, but rather my mother.

Notably, all of my significant exes lived with their parents through college and beyond. Two (Julie and Evangeline) moved out to cohabitate and the third I lost contact with. It was problematic in all three cases. With Eva there were specific problems with a step-mother who resented her presence. With Julie it was what I think is more typical. It's hard to establish the distinction between parent/child and landlord/tenant. Even if they're more liberal, you're still living under the rules of the house. Things like cleaning up after yourself and the like are done not because you have determined them to be valuable, but because your parents say-so. It ends up frustrating both sides. Things were so problematic with Julie that I was actually moderately supportive of when she moved in with the boyfriend, despite my belief that it's generally a bad idea. As long as it got her out of that house (and I *liked* her parents).

Regarding the double-standard, I consider it a branch off the same tree that has parents bankrolling their daughters moving to NYC looking for unlikely or doing unprofitable work while telling their sons to get a damn job. Girls have intrinsic value. Boys have to earn or prove theirs.